Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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