She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
