There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
