He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
