i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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