She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
