Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
