My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
