I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
