she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
