Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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