go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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