honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
