garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
