Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So many bounce houses so little time
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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