You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
