I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
