just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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