I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
