Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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