Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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