If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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