shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
