So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize