I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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