Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize