Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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