eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
