She announced her abortion via fbk
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
