You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
