So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
