I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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