big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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