I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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