My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
