His apartment number was 69. I had to.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize