Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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