Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize