remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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