She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize