An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
