So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
