I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It was confusing and full of hummus
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
