Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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