C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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