You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm sobbing to NWA
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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