Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize