I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
