I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
