Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
