Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
