I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
