Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize