i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
