yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
