Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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