Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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