Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
