I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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