fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
